revoltmonkey:

astoundingbeyondbelief:

broadway-paramore:

a-masterpiece-of-understatement:

When people constantly tell me “old movies are boring.”

image

"Old movies aren’t funny because they don’t swear."

image

"There aren’t any cute guys."

image

"Are you trying to be a hipster or something?"

image

"its in black and white"

image

"There’s bad acting"

image

"the story is pointless"

image

lets not forget about Cary Grant

image

"the special effects look fake"

image

"They aren’t relevant anymore"

image

(via applesandelephants)

i-effed-it-all-up:

when girls think they are better than other girls because they are tomboys who engage in stereotypically “male” activities it makes me want to actually gouge my own eyes out because they are pretty much reinforcing the patriarchal idea that men are better than women without even realizing it and that is just incredibly sad

(via funnybrunette)

"

Women like me do not fall gracefully,
we stumble over our spines, trip over
our vowels, and collapse into your arms.

Our hearts are open books,
Russian novels containing fifty pages
on the way your voice drifts across
the telephone wires each night.
Our hearts are first drafts,
unedited verses about each and every
person we have ever loved: the stranger
on the subway, the girl who gave us a balloon,
the boy who stole our virginity
but not our heart.

Women like me will love you from a distance
of a thousand syllables while laying in your bed,
we will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible,
and when we leave you will finally understand
why storms are named after people.

"

Katrina, M.K. (via synthetic-synaesthesia)

childofgloom:

mildlyamused:

incredulousbeliever:

dionthesocialist:

It’s hilarious that non-Americans on Tumblr are all like “OMG DENNY’S TUMBLR MAKES ME WISH I LIVED IN AMERICA SO I COULD EAT THERE,” while us Americans will literally only eat at Dennys if it’s 3 in the morning and we’ve lost control of our life.

You don’t go to Denny’s. You end up at Denny’s.

And not that Denny’s. Let’s go to the good one across town.

The accuracy of this scares me so much

(Source: dion-thesocialist, via itmeans-no-worries)

funniesttimes:

funny in 100ways

funniesttimes:

funny in 100ways

(Source: )

doctordonna10:

qthewetsprocket:

dixie-chicken:

but guys, you realize Morgan Freeman had to read those lines

…without laughing.

LOOK AT THE GUY HOLDING THE MICROPHONE

(Source: littlechinesedoll, via caramel-lesbian)

woodywombpecker:

Uromastyx likes her belly rubbed

(via byebyethinspo)

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

  • bop it
  • pull it
  • twist it
  • harder
  • better
  • faster
  • stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

(Source: daenerystargayren, via thomasthetalkingengine)

nprbooks:

Latin American author Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who won the Nobel Prize in literature in 1982, died Thursday. He was 87. Garcia Marquez, the master of a style known as magic realism, was and remains Latin America’s best-known writer.
His novels were filled with miraculous and enchanting events and characters; love and madness; wars, politics, dreams and death. And everything he had written, Garcia Marquez once said, he knew or heard before he was 8 years old.
Chilean novelist Ariel Dorfman says Marquez’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech was one of the author’s most important messages to the world.
"Garcia Marquez is speaking about all the people who are marginal to history, who have not had a voice," Dorfman says. "He gives a voice to all those who died. He gives a voice to all those who are not born yet. He gives a voice to Latin America."
Read our full appreciation here.
Image via See Colombia

nprbooks:

Latin American author Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who won the Nobel Prize in literature in 1982, died Thursday. He was 87. Garcia Marquez, the master of a style known as magic realism, was and remains Latin America’s best-known writer.

His novels were filled with miraculous and enchanting events and characters; love and madness; wars, politics, dreams and death. And everything he had written, Garcia Marquez once said, he knew or heard before he was 8 years old.

Chilean novelist Ariel Dorfman says Marquez’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech was one of the author’s most important messages to the world.

"Garcia Marquez is speaking about all the people who are marginal to history, who have not had a voice," Dorfman says. "He gives a voice to all those who died. He gives a voice to all those who are not born yet. He gives a voice to Latin America."

Read our full appreciation here.

Image via See Colombia

(via npr)